VIII
Delivery dedicated to Daniel Franco
"judged that it was a trap:
are three stars in a hole,
is up to them, and you can not go down,
is still there, biting the stars ...
However such was their hunger for light,
That rose "
(Antoine de Saint Exupery "Night Flight")
The courtyard was festooned with balloons, streamers and ribbons that read: "Happy Birthday Princess", as he used to call my daughter. Were on the third birthday in the new house.
Seven years of the honoree and a large patio packed with little boys the same age I was convinced that some people hired piola Mc Donald's and ready.
To make matters worse, I had to endure two or three small guest comment: "Again chartered flights clowns! "But ... How cheeky these brats of m. .. Kids! Clowns cheap! Well, what happens? That, besides the plants were blended, which sprang chizito floor and french fries mixed with soda cups and spilled it to the dog, terrified, there was no way to get it out from under the bed. And I better not. Being the third time I got into the dance, I swore I was last.
Amid these abstractions completely inconclusive, the "clowns cheap" me back to reality by putting in the file that the function was over, that the boys had been a charm (liars!), parents were already at the door waiting for them (Thank God!) and please pay them they had another little party. "Why not?" I said, fascinated with the timeliness of the parents to take their ... children.
Uff! At last one.
I sat on the patio with a pile of sandwiches and a glass of beer ... Anyway. And I looked distractedly at the sky. What serene twilight starfish divesting its first planets and suns! I looked Three Marys and the Southern Cross, the Jewelry Box ... There they were, brilliant, desirable, although innocent at the mercy of an impending siege. In the distance, announcing rain clouds rocky rapids. Then I came to mind the history of Storms, as I used to call me about what I said to myself Vitoria return of keys. I recalled in the quiet of the spring evening, the odd regret to advise women to look after me not to stay in the yard during storms.
Indeed, the only time he neglected his advice, almost involuntarily brought me tremendous shock. But as we behave some with inexplicable us or we fear ... gave no importance. The weather did the rest of the dirty work, putting the events of the past difficulties in hazy drawers of forgetfulness. Just remember, behind the scenes, a storm on the patio hanging over me ... And had I been different, submerged in the kitchen between jams, chocolates and mints, candy preparing for the birthday of someone you know. Over time I attributed it to a kind of dream, because towards the I finally fell asleep in the hammock net. Although the most enigmatic had taken place waking: it was with a minty chocolate flavor in the mouth and lips somewhat swollen, with that typical gain pleasure when ... has been kissing up to exhaustion.
A noticeable turbulence broke this evocative liturgy. Some dragonflies flap disoriented ... Nothing do not know myself. Thus, sleep or dream that once he joined the irrational part of the inner self or miraculous that-a lack of understanding, we put in a drawer of oblivion, half-time light and questionable memory or a certain strangeness, for inexplicable collection just in case. Or, if enclose some mystery that has not time to be revealed.
Tangled in such memories, perhaps apocryphal sanity while showed distrust of them, when I was awake again! in the midst of a major storm.
Witnessing storms from the gallery of the court assumed an extraordinary experience. And fabulous. I was struck by an unusual tremor. The breath of a merciless gale annihilated what was left of my plants and swept blessed relic all dream.
had no memory of a wind of this intensity. And less, carrying the strange and red sandstone. No more time for rumination, the belly of the sky opened in a wound leaden rain downloading a wild, almost aggressive at times, armed with huge drops like teeth prepared for all sorts of atrocities.
"Go! Let's see what happens, "he challenged in my chaise, protected under the gallery.
Nothing happened. Except my dog, and children discharged from military, devoted himself diligently to steal sandwiches every time I neglected. The storm extended his act with complete ease, without drama or weird stuff. My daughter, as he always had a storm, and was locked in her room upstairs playing alone surrounded by dolls, cars pink dresses of queens and castles. More watercolors, acrylics and oils. The paint is good at.
waist hurt me a lot, like every time I resented the ambient humidity. Inexplicable question not leave me alone from the age of twenty. I guess for that reason and not another, I dozed in the chaise, rocked by the lullabies of rain insatiable pattered on the stones of the courtyard and leaves survivors of child militia.
And I had a dream. No, not really.
Just did a meditation exercise to offset the depletion of the little party. Thus every part was loosening the body and controlling the breathing, gradually sink into a pleasant weightlessness. I started to descend, counting from ten to one the steps leading to a perfect beach, carpeted with golden sands and visited by a sea that rippled teen dreams transparent under a blue sky. Thousands watched aquamarine shades and lights, there were, however absurd it might be. Under such supervision, salty and warm waves bathed my feet with delicious effect. And watched, no. Should not look at them. Somebody had sworn that if you look at the feet in such circumstances, can leave for other lives ... And, really, I just wanted to relax.
is, I looked. I looked at giving in to the forbidden, while the afternoon was barefoot in blue.
What happened after that moment has all the ingredients of the unusual, the inexplicable, not necessarily fancy.
Suddenly I rose above my feet. I left, translucent and light, leaving the body dressed in blue sleeping peacefully in the warm sand of a summer afternoon. I left it, walking-o-flapping over the waves. I walked a good space and to reach a port full of twists and turns, crowded with people, barges and fabrics of all colors. Did not understand much. But as was given to a kind of beatific stillness I just observe, covered in the stillness of a vigil as rare as complacent.
A couple focused my attention. She was tall, dark, beautiful, long, jet black hair was twisted on the neck and a regal dress, perhaps of brocade, gold and blue. Beside her, a dark man, whose face also high I could hardly guess, embraced a kind of parting of lovers. Then he swallowed the gangplank of a ship loaded with fabrics that are made immediately to sea.
The young, as the ship disappeared over the horizon, rushed into a house lined with pink marble and lapis lazuli and, throwing himself upon a rich tapestry of silk and pearl, surrendered without a whimper as most distressing sense and would have liked to comfort my physical body. I was surprised, however, seized on their feelings as if they were their own, connected with their grief in a direct line. I wanted to leave there. It was when I noticed it was no longer a matter liable to choice: we were one. I do not know why or how or when it happened, but really came over to the other in the same space.
I moved from that house with full knowledge of the terrain. Attended to work in a bookstore.
So I realized that I was in Alexandria, Egypt. Who was the wife of a wealthy cloth merchant who loved her more than anything and whose child was brewing in my belly.
was supposed to journey to Athens was not very extensive. He would come in time for delivery.
But it was not.
A storm turned the boat and all died.
Lisio, my beloved husband, was found clinging to a piece of silk turquoise, my favorite color, in the hold of the ship sunk. However, nobody made me aware until later, fearful of losing the child to be born. It did not. A bad day, my heart broke all connection with him and knew I had lost.
The sorrow that seized me was such that I barely had the strength to focus on the unborn child. Times less cruel, if there was some undoubtedly were at lunch, and long remained in solitary desktop, recalling happy hours. Missing never had arranged two crystal glasses on the edge of the window I looked at the sea, as before, as when he was. Emerald sea that I had already taken two loved ones: my brother, twenty-three, was too long. And now, I Love Him without whose presence a part of me had died forever.
Coincidentally, one October afternoon I began to suffer severe low back pain and cramps in her lower abdomen. I remember a huge room with walls lined in satin, a stately bed manufactured from wood and carved very fragrant East. And I wrapped in silk.
Next I was next to the doctor, two midwives and a few aides, determined and smiling. However, while the climate of celebration changed to a gloomy silence, I could see how a large number of employees in the home and the book I looked disconsolate. Looks like I was in danger and I had won her affection. For my part, I also felt the return of affection and empathy for that group of foreign ones. Suddenly I saw how away, shocked and some were crying and me too, because of the tremendous back pain. I do not remember other than the extreme suffering. I do not remember anything else, unless there was a girl. And heard them whisper, between sobs: "It's a beautiful girl."
"Desirée Call it like I would have preferred it." And more tears.
then nothing just a floating universe and cushioning.
A dog's barking viciously brought me back to the twenty-first century, wondering what had become of that girl condemned to solitude. A girl with green eyes and look stronger than I lost in the mists of return.
barely had time to fit the body asleep in the sand, but without abandoning the concern for the orphan girl from the beginning ... How would have adjusted to life ...? In short, things crazy, capricious, not comment ... Never. And sleeping in a hidden alcove of the soul. But hanging over his chest like a starry night oppresses the heart of the desert.
Just then I pulled my real daughter of the arms, visibly upset, "Mommy, Mommy! You scared me, just breathe. It seemed that you were gone, Mom, "whined, seeing me open my eyes and smile.
"It's okay, honey." I whispered, hugging her with all my strength and keeping me stupor later.
- Was it the storm, no, Mommy that you stay and sleep? Lisio Uncle warned you. I agree.
-Desi, no Lisio uncle in the family - responded with a stunning could be described as cosmic.
From the radio, the voice of Luis Aguila-unusual- shelled, sweet and sweet:
"A sad storm is raging without rest / but the sun soon calm your children will reach you / I'll never die, my heart is not what I have here / someone is waiting for me / me is waiting to return there. "
I started to tear.
- Do you like this song, Mom?
(continued)
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