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Jokes Christian church jajajajajaja Cont.

There was a pastoral retreat and three of them gathered to pray for one another, and one says:

"Well, as I know this is between us, I confess that I have a weakness is that I like look at women ... are my temptation. Pray for me.

Then another says

"Well, I admit that my weakness is to take some money from the offering ...

Then these two ask the third, and the answers:

"Well, I have a tiny weakness, and I'm too gossip and do not wait to tell everyone what I have heard ...

[This is a true joke.] A brother was accustomed to falling asleep during the service. He used to sit on the bench and close my eyes. But one day, during a service, power failure, leaving everything dark, and that this brother wakes up and starts crying saying Brothers cry, cry out that I was blind! .

Al die and go to heaven a pastor and a taxi driver (who had been neighbors and friends on earth) are taken their eternal dwellings, the pastor is in awe as the driver is installed a house with swimming pool, tennis court and the whole thing! while he was on an ordinary house.

- Sir! but this is? All my life I preached thy word above the ground and see what I do!

"When you preach I only heard people snoring, but could have seen how people prayed fervently when the driver was driving!

The teacher asked Louie, How David killed Goliath? With an engine! responded the child. What do you mean with a motor? Do not know if it was with a slingshot? "the teacher said. The boy replied, "Ahhh! I did not know the brand had to say! "

A brother is a street singing very passionately.

"Send fire, Lord, send fire." . .

In its journey passes in front of a garage where a gasoline tank welded. The tank was waste and a spark caused an explosion. The cylinder shoots and engulfed in flames toward the brother, who ran to see him, now singing. . .

- "I was only joking, Lord, just kidding...

A missionary in Africa was on a road and met a lion tremendote .

first thing that came to mind was to "walk in heels," but decided not to run for no more incite the beast to persecute him.

knelt in the road and began to pray more fervently than ever. The beast approached him and started hitting the cold nose sniffing her cheek. The missionary was shaking and would not even open his eyes. After a moment of sweaty prayer missionary felt that the beast had retreated a bit.

opened his eyes and saw the hairy animal was kneeling in front of him staring at him. Then the missionary told him: "Brother Leo, how happy I am to have you join me in this prayer meeting."

Neither short nor lazy lion replied: "Shut your mouth! I'm just giving thanks for the food!"

A thief when he was peering through the kitchen and headed toward the dining room looking for the silver, he heard a voice saying: Jesus is watching you!

The thief was startled, turned off the flashlight and immediately went to find out where that voice came out.

- Jesus is watching you! (He returned to listen). So again lit his flashlight and saw a parrot in a cage that he repeated:

- Jesus is watching you!

The thief laughed and replied:

"And you, Who are you?

The parrot answered:

- I'm Moses!

To which the thief replied, standing:

- And who was the idiot who put a parrot Moses?

And the bird said

"The same idiot who put" Jesus "the Doberman who is behind you ...!!!

Asked one Christian to another: How to be your girlfriend? and the other responds, as the will of God "good, acceptable, and perfect."

A Christian who started a business as owner of a funeral prayer requests in a time of intercession in the church and says: I want to pray for my business succeed, not that I want anyone to die but I want business to prosper.

Question

a new believer, the Bible talks a lot about Peter and Paul but why he never mentions Vilma and Betty?

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Worse than many failures are few attempts. So said Thomas Alva Edison invented the light bulb after 1200 failed experiments. The year was 1879 and Thomas had already invested $ 40,000 (a millionaire at the time). Had tested over 6000 filaments plant trying to find a conductor of energy, which had been sent from afar, and yet everything seemed to be a failure. Until then cities, houses, streets and the nights were dark and dense. It was obvious that people who heard about the project and even his friends thought it was impossible. Fifty years ago that other scientists were circling about the experiment but all ended up abandoning the idea. Edison had met several times to several important people to see the great event and all the time ended up embarrassed. However, Edison went on and on with the fixed idea. One day Edison decided that the appropriate strand of cotton had to be charred and arranged to test the October 21, 1879. The voltage was applied to the terminals and a little a faint orange light was emerging from the glass jar. Thirteen hours did the light of that first electric lamp. For when Thomas Alva Edison died, the whole world knew about electricity and thousands of cities were fully lit at night. He once asked about the secret of his success. Edison replied, "We must learn that failure is good. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. " Under the name of Thomas Alva Edison's inventions were patented in 1093 which the majority still use or were the basis for creating other technological advances.

(Youth Leader: Lucas Leys)

point of reflection:

One percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.

How do you react to the failures?

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Edison's failed Smile, you're shooting

Today it is only an anecdote, but then I had wanted to swallow the earth. Course, which was a few years ago the junior year at a German school. From the entrance examination, there was a skin issue with a teacher. For some curious reason, we do not bear it.

He was about thirty years and this server, fifteen. Possibly, all born when in the middle class, I was surprised by drawing a caricature of each of the teachers. So, two by three, the ironic phrase I froze the body: "Gebel, come forward and tell us what to laugh and laugh all, come and make one of his cartoons." I think the thing became personal. We repelled each other.

a Sunday, God spoke to me deeply in the church, and that day, I decided I could change the troublesome situation. From one day to another, I spoke to all of a marked change in personal life, and on one occasion, even preached in a voice high enough to hear my enemy. For if the change was not clear, and that there were no hard feelings, I took my desk a rule that said "The Lord is my Shepherd." The teacher looked at askance. A week later, another professor, wanted to break the ice of the class, asking our opinion on the other teachers of the establishment. It was my great opportunity to say everything!.

For a moment, I forgot to change my life, and dispatched me at ease talking about my distaste for the teacher in question. "It is an enlarged - said, amid laughter and approval of my colleagues - is intolerable and takes tests only to fail, they should throw him out of school for bad guy y. ..", as he spoke, someone touched my shoulder . Chavo looked like a scene from speaking ill of the teacher "sausage." Behind me was the recipient of my words. My teacher enemy. I do not know since when was there, but heard to-di-to. Had wanted to disappear or jump out the window in a last act of courage and common sense. The teacher did not seem offended, but with the same irony as always, took my seat the rule that said "The Lord is my shepherd" and smiled. He just smiled as he discovered the trick the magician. He played with the ruler between his fingers and smiled again. Then he turned and left as he entered, silently.

No more words between us. But I understood that wry smile: "There used to preach about love or whatever, if you do not live your life." For a while I did not dare to preach for a change of life to restore my testimony. My back preached more than my words. I did not talk about it with the teacher and I never dared to talk about to apologize. But I set out to be a model of truth, from that messy incident. I wish again to find the professor, I'll tell you if you ever happen.

(Pastor Dante Gebel)

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One World 2010 Final

youth more momentous event of all time 10/10/1910 ONE WORLD

'World Day Youth for Christian Values' A million reasons to be ONE.

In an unprecedented strategic alliance youth have joined youth leaders and global organizations to develop a strategy for your youth and adolescents mass for the first 10 days of October 2010. Day by day more youth organizations in addition to this dream of God, with the firm intention of generating a media revolution, social and cultural development through Christian values.

Global Mobilization Plan.

Under the same slogan: "A million reasons to be ONE", was promoted from the first of October 2010 to October 9 2010, personal assistance to youth at risk in the streets of every city. On Saturday October 9 evening events will be held simultaneously in cities on five continents, to wait for hours 10.10.1910 to zero which will welcome the "World Youth Day with Christian values."

At the same time be transmitted by radio stations, TV and internet portals, events will take place that day in all cities world who are celebrating One World 2010.

Global Mission:
• Inpact the planet with a global youth movement to proclaim 10/10/1910 as the 'day globaliza youth with Christian values. " And from 2010 remember and repeat it annually without interruption.
• To unite and mobilize NGOs, community institutions, universities, schools, movements and Christian institutions, foundations, youth organizations, to raise awareness in the population.
• Mobilize to 1,000,000 young people around the world to promote support for youth at risk.

More information: www.oneworld2010.org

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The cell in the tomb

According to a study by the BBC, more people request to be buried with their cell phones. This trend was born in South Africa, said Martin Raymond, Director of the Study.

This is happening because people are afraid of having spells or witchcraft to be left in a state similar to that of a dead man, and want to be able to ask for help from the grave if it is to wake up being buried. According

, Raymond, now known to also carry their phones Americans the "beyond", because there are more explosions in the cremation, as the batteries of these devices can not withstand high temperatures and find out they were cremated with the cell when these batteries exploding.

a phone can be used in case of being buried alive ... but will not help to enter into communication with God, because if we do not take decision to love in life after death is too late. No Cell

serve for eternity.
This is the day to talk with God and without cell. A broken and contrite heart, God will never be ignored.

For if thou afflict them, and they call upon me, I will surely hear their cry. Exodus 22:23.

hear thou from heaven, from thy dwelling place, and do according to all the things you calleth abroad, so that all peoples of the earth may know thy name and fear thee and thy people Israel, and know that your name is called upon this house which I have built. 2 Chronicles 6:33.

With my voice I cried to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy hill. Psalm 3:4.

(Kelvin Castillo)

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Who are you? Cristiano Telecine

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1987, Mr. Pastor Healed of cancer Jorge Plourde first.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHpPOCxbO EQ The leading apostle of the council of the most of 50 churches of Praise Jesus Christ, Pastor of the Church I attend the Church of Central Worship, witnessing as God book of death, gave him complete healing of cancer, and as bag a path of doom and pride, leading him to be a minister of his word and an influential leader in our nation, this at 1.987 in the program Telecine Christian, this is the first part, the others can be viewed on Youtube, it is remarkable to hear how God works in the life of a man like this and give your life a change radically.